Thanks for your email but I am currently flying over the southern hemisphere in a first class seat whilst sipping on a simply delicious martini and marmite cocktail on my way to a delightful safari holiday machine-gunning baby hippos in the african wilderness whilst the natives fan my flabby arse with peacock feathers and commend my excellent taste in finding new and fantastically 'NOW' music to occupy sunday supplement readers for a few seconds.

I'm away until some point next century but when I return I'll be sure to pass on your email to some work experience employee who will look at your email and then delete it.

However, if it's an urgent matter, please contact:

bjorn@desertminemusic for all enquiries regarding any of our more successful bands than yours as they make the money that pays for our brand new logo and marble octagonal boardroom table.

juan@desertminemusic for all A&R enquiries and he'll be sure to ignore not only your first email but also your second and third thus ensuring you doubt the reasons why you a) bothered emailing him and b) bothered writing and recording your music in the first place

For all other matters please call our office on 020 666-6666 and our inexperienced new receptionist will not know who you are and will let you know that there is no one in the office to take your call.