If he fails to illuminate/entertain us, we shall cancel the preorder of his new album 'Hearts Will Fall', if he succeeds in bringing us joy then we shall proceed with internet-based spamming of his art.
1. Why did you choose to release a solo album? Why not just join another band?
I play guitar in a band called Nine Black Alps, and the singer Sam is a control freak. He won't let me have my songs on Alps records, because he is scared my songs are better than his. I just had loads of idea's in my head that needed to get out. I love recording, and every time I got a new piece of equipment, like a distortion pedal or microphone, when I was trying them out I would record little ideas that would grow into full songs. At party's I would get drunk and play my demo's to my friends, and they all seemed to like them, and I had some downtime between Alps records, so decided to make the best album ever. I think I came close.
2. What is the worst moment of your new album?
Probably the 4 minutes of noise at the end of it, that is probably more impressive in its technical attributes than its excitement to an audience. Or realising I am a better song writer than Sam, destroyed my whole respect for the guy.
3. Why did you choose not to release your album on a subsidiary of Universal Music Group?
I am using Desert Mine Music as a stepping stone to get back onto Universal Music Group, or one of its subsidiary's. Money makes money. More fool you. Desert Mine is so behind me once the proper offers come along. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
4. When creating the album, what percentage of time was spent staring into your computer screen?
More than I wanted. I don't own a tape machine, have no access to a tape machine, or the skills to make an album on a tape machine. In fact tape sucks. fucking tape machine hippy twats.
5. Who is a bigger influence on your music, Razorlight or Kasabian?
Kasabian without a doubt. WWKD? "What would kasabian do?" was my motto for the album, and the answer was always "have it".
6. Would you rather shave your head or grow a beard to increase sales?
I can't grow a beard. Either through bad genetics, or lack of hipster jeans/genes. So I would shave my head.
7. What are you going to do with all of the money generated by the sales of your debut album?
Buy Desert Mine Music and refuse to release Sams music, and see how it makes him feel. Or just buy more music equipment to stare at.
8. How many of your family members do you think will buy your album?
I am a generous man, and have already given the album to my loved ones. Its the least i could do after scrounging off them all these years.
9. What do you need more to play guitar; strings or effects pedals?
On Nine Black Alps records I use lots of pedals, mainly to hide the bad song writing, so more effects are needed to mask the dreadful songs. I didnt use that many pedals in all honesty on this record, as the song writing is so much stronger.
10. Are you as cool as you look in all of the photographs?
Fuck you.