Welcome to the first in a series of interviews with a myriad of persons who help us at Desert Mine Music achieve our full global potential.
Our first victim is Miles Watts, founder of the illustrious Milestone Films.
Milestone Films have made the groundbreaking music videos for the Sorry Kisses 'Sunstorms' and 'IOU Nothing' songs as well as the ultra lo-fi video classics such as 'Living A Lie' and 'Running Out'. They also managed to put make up on Nine Black Alps for their 'Vampire In The Sun' video as well as got them to mime in the same room as each other for 'Buy Nothing'.
And not only that, they conquered Edinburgh Film Festival in 2010 with their jawdropping action-comedy 'Crimefighters' feature film and managed to snare zombie-nerds worldwide with their cult-internet-hit 'Zomblogalypse'.
I caught up with Miles, sat him in a chair, put a melting wax candle in his hand, turned the spotlight on and ask him these questions:
1. What is the greatest mistake you have made whilst filming a music video?
I don't think I've ever made a huge mistake while filming apart from assuming sometimes that no lights, dolly track or sometimes even a tripod were necessary. I'm a big fan of handheld camera work but some of the shots I did in my earlier videos look like they were operated by an epileptic child. Also took me ages to learn how to export, compress and upload properly, I should've learned that earlier because you can undo hours of good work with shoddy technical knowledge.
2. Who would you least like to make a music video for?
Robbie Williams, I think. The first time he did one of those cheeky monkey smiles I'd probably get all violent and rage at him and his stupid monkey face.
3. If you had to speak in a foreign accent whilst making a film, which accent would you choose?
I frequently do speak in foreign accents while filming, and it's usually American, specifically Jack Nicholson, although Michael Caine seems to have taken over lately. Also a generic Eastern European accent surfaces occasionally, that I call Russian but I know deep down isn't.
4. What is the worst piece of advice you've ever been given in relation to making films?
'Be patient.' I have no patience. Also 'wait'. I don't want to wait, I want to make stuff soon after having the idea. If you don't make stuff it dies. That probably will change as I become a more meticulous, arthritic and slower filmmaker.
5. Which is your favourite eye to use whilst making films?
I like to use both eyes because you can't rely on just the one, it might miss something the other one sees.
6. Would you rather film nothing whilst having film in the camera, or film something but have no film in the camera?
I'd rather film nothing while having film in, because at least then I could take it home and edit together a whole bunch of nothing, whereas if something amazing happened and I missed it, I would feel like a big juicy failure.
7. What is the worst music video, OF ALL TIME?
That one about Jesus being your mate, sung by that bunch of 70s freaky people. I don't know, that might also be the best music video of all time.
8. What is the worst review of your work that you've had?
Right after the Edinburgh Film Fest last year, someone posted the snarkiest review saying they didn't like ANYTHING about CrimeFighters. That kind of tipped me off that they probably weren't the kind of person I made the film for.
9. Would you rather someone tell you to 'get a real job' or say 'yeah I really like your work, it looks like Hollyoaks'?
The first one, because someone who would tell me to 'get a real job' is most likely someone who has a job they hate, and somehow feel cheated. Like, people who work on Hollyoaks.
10. If you had to dissuade somebody from hiring you to make a film, what faults of yours would you foreground?
If there are biscuits on set I will eat them all, with no regard to anyone else's biscuit needs. Those biscuits are going in my mouth, screw you.
DICK